Sometimes I'd Rather Laugh and Lose Calories Than Exercise

1) My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 now & we don't know where the heck she is.

2) The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear
heavy breathing again.

3) I joined a health club last year, spent about $400 bucks. Haven't
lost a pound. Apparently you have to show up.

4) I have to exercise in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm

5) I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, she would have put them further up our body.

6) I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy

7) I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

8) The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

9) If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.

10) I don't jog. It makes the ice jump right out of my glass.