(Sung to "My Favorite Things").  My leader friend in Northridge, Rosemary, composed the following song, with apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein -- 

"My Favorite Things"

Raindrops on freeways I'm gridlocked in taffic
Gonna be late and I'm starting to panic
Muffins and bagels a co-worker brings,
And so I eat all these favorite things!

Fresh cookies baking while shopping at Macy's
Bolt to the food court, my appetite's crazy
So many restaurants each one my name sings
And so I inhale my favorite things!

When the dog wets, when the kids cry
When my soap's replaced
I simply go to pantry, freezer or fridge
And proceed to stuff my face!

Magazine photos, the food shows on cable,
Leftover pizza stares up from the table
Comfy on sofa - the VCR plays
I max out points in my favorite ways.

Coffee breaks, lunchtime, the 3:00 hour
Vending machine taunts my chocolate willpower
Projects piled desk high, the phones always ring,
Open the drawer - reach for favorite things!

Take my vacation, return due to monsoon
In-laws to visit, must redo the guest room
Phone rings I answer, - oy! Mom's coming, too
Time to dive into my favorite foods!

When my mind snaps, with my resolve
Triggers take their toll
I simply remember there's always a choice
And soon I am in control!!!

My leader friend in Northern California, Scott, takes the Fiddler on the Roof song, If I Were A Rich Man and provides us with the following..


Dear God, you made many, many heavy people.
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be large.
But it's no great honor either!
So, what would have been so terrible if I had a little middle?

If I were a thin man,
Just a little bit more smaller, with a 32 inch waist
All day long I'd show off in the sun.
If I were a thinner man.
I wouldn't have to wear black
There are times I might not even wear my clothes when on the beach
If I were a little smaller size
Standing on the scales would start no lies

I'd build a great big freezer with ice cream by the gallon,
Right in the middle of the house.
A full ice chest with real Hagen Daz to go
With every meal and snack I'd eat every day,
I'd demand a chocolately dessert
Cake with nuts and frosting, just for show.

I'd fill my house with shirts and jackets and pants
and shorts for my new and thinner size
Showing skin as carelessly as I wish
Each tank top, short short, and sexy underwear
Would feel like I won the Nobel prize
And all would show "Here is a sexy guy."

If I were a thin man,
Just a little thinner, drop five inches from each thigh
All day long I'd show off in the sun
If I were a skinny guy.
Wouldn't have to count points
I could learn live on anything that's greasy or that fried
If I were an itty, bitty, thin,
Slender, high-metabolism, guy

I see my wife who loves me, smiling oh so proudly
No longer do I hold my tummy in
Like two teens; our libidos give us much delight
No longer can she keep her hands to herself
Oy, what a happy mood I'm in.
Yet rarely am I sleeping any night

The most appealing gals in town would come to fawn on me!
They would ask me to advise them,
How to shrink into smaller sizes
"Can I eat cheese, Wayne Muhlstein..."
"How much meat, Wayne Muhlstein..."
Posing problems that would cross a leader's eyes!

And it won't make one bit of difference if I answer right or wrong.
When you're thin, they think you really know!
If I were thin, I'd have the time that I lack
To sit at the restaurant and snack.
I'd even take a seat by the buffet wall
And I'd consume peanut butter with each and every food, I'd use several jars
every day.
That would be the sweetest thing of all.

If I were a thin man,
Just a little thinner, take a pound or two right off my side,
All day long I'd nibble, nibble, yum
If I were a skinny guy.
I wouldn't have to sing this.
No more water till I feel like I'm going to drown and die

Lord who made French fries and candied yams
You decreed I shall be what I am
Would it spoil my Lifetime Member's plan
If I were a skinny man?

Here is another gem of a tune composed by my dear WW Leader friend, Rosemary Chiaverini.

Try this one -- sung to the tune of Hernando's Hideway from Pajama Game:

There is a place when I am there
I want the food that's everywhere
I eat it all without a care
It's called "Temptation That-A-Way"  oy vey!

It might be when I'm on a trip
At piles of food I lick my lips
Don't care if it means wider hips
I'll see Wayne another day, to weigh.

It's when I go to buffets and I've said with quite some ease,
"I'll have the salad bar, the non-fat dressing please."
I'm in control and feel that dining will be just a breeze,
Until I see the dessert table, then I freeze.
And then I pant and sweat and try to walk away without,
But then I swear the truffles stare and me and shout,
"It's just one day.  We are sooo good"
And so I eat them all!

I'm now aware that I must know,
Where I tend to have no control,
Cause if I don't my butt will grow
And I won't like the way I look each day.

So, when temptation's in your face,
Be mindful of the exact place
That made you take that fateful taste
You'll feel so good about yourself, hooray!